It would be unfair to talk about mental health without talking about mental illnesses. I was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression sometime in 2019, and most recently I was diagnosed with ADHD. It’s hard to talk about this, because many do not understand the physical side effects mental illnesses have. I used to think that they way I felt when I have anxiety was normal(often feel like I am dying and running out of oxygen).
Over the past year, I have become very open about my anxiety and now with my ADHD, but my depression is something I do not speak about. It is so taboo in the Mexican culture to speak about this. Porque luego luego hablan de que estan loco o de que vas a tener depression si lo tienes todo. Pero depression doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t care about your socio-economic status, education, religion, age, anything. Le vale madre ala deprecion.
Going through therapy and learning how to deal with my emotions has been a blessing. Mediating, working out, and yelling at the ocean have also helped.
My point is, we should not be scared to explore our feelings and thoughts, even when they are hard to comprehend.
During my recent therapy session, we discussed about the three Karens that keep me alive. The strong, protective Karen that doesn’t have time to feel her feelings, but literally takes a deep breathe and keeps going. This Karen doesn’t care for emotions or for affection, she is everything she needs.
The lovely dovey Karen that falls in love too easily and for the first time in while she was let out. The one who wears her heart on her sleeve, and likes to be hugged and cuddled. The one who recently was so damn happy but was so naive (strong Karen knew we were going to get hurt and it was all too good to be true).
And last the destroyed Karen that can’t get out of bed. The one who allowed her thoughts and feelings consume her. The one that in all honesty I never want to see again, but know will make her appearance from time to time, but next time we’re not letting her stay for more than a day.
The ideal would be to allow strong Karen (logical and rationale) to work with the lovey dovey Karen (follows her heart and looks for happiness) to work together, but so many times strong Karen takes over, because lovey dovey Karen is too emotional she follows her heart too easily and doesn’t put up the boundaries needed to stay on track with her emotions and her goals.
As a society we need to talk more about mental illnesses and mental health. 1) that a lot of us go through this and were not alone 2) it’s fucken normal and part of human nature 3) if we don’t talk about it we allow it to consume us and get in the way of life.
I will upload books, music and quotes that have helped me get though anxiety/panic attacks, or just dark moments in life.
Karen Alezzandra 